What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
