She's JV to your varsity
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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