He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize