at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
