i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
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