Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I can't turn off my feet"
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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