Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
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