Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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