I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize