i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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