Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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