craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Randomize
