You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
