I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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