So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
