Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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