Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
