he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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