i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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