goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
