Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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