the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
