i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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