I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
