the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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