and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Randomize
