Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize