hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
