Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
