So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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