He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
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