FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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