I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
