i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
My bed smells like the plague
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
