I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize