He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize