Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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