Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
