she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
