this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
