Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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