Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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