all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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