I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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