at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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