I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
