whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
