just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
