but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
