This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
