I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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