im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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