Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
