Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
