your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
