I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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