I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
